Beware What You Say/Do to the Author

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better." -- Anne Lamott

I don't think I can begin to tell you how true this quote is. It's true for me, at least; and it seems to be true for my writing buddies. I wonder, though, if most people who interact with writers think they are immune to the pen. 

Every story I've written is full of characters that are based on people I know and interactions I've had with them. "Write what you know," right? Well, I know my best friends, my ex-spouses, my parents, my boss, my "frenemies," junior high bullies, that grouchy lady at the Post Office, and the candid and crazy troupe of folks I have met at festivals and conventions. I know the pain of my recent divorce and the dis-ease that was its herald. I know the impotence of an online fight with a friend, the shock and shame of molestation, and the heart-crushing fear of seeing your child in real pain. 

I told my ex-wife (Glaux) recently that I didn't think she was the best candidate to beta-read my main work-in-progress. I know she's eager to see how the story has progressed. I read the first chapter aloud to her just after I wrote it, and that reading evolved into a really steamy moment for us. One of our last steamy moments, actually. Within two months, she left and I filed for divorce. I let the book (To Call Ye Forth, the first in the Witches' Rune series) simmer for a while, and when I picked it up again, I was ready to work through some of the issues that had festered between us before she left. Our break-up isn't a major theme in the book, but it plays a role.

Glaux will undoubtedly have parts (both big and small) in several books, I imagine. One of my back-burnered WIPs (Temple of Beauty) features her in a very loving and compassionate way, while still tackling issues around her bipolar disorder. (In case you're worried, I am not giving away secrets or talking out of turn about her struggle with mental illness. Glaux has long been an advocate for public discussion of all mental illness, as you can see on her blog.) She was a major part of my life for 7 years, and I have feelings both bright and dark related to her and my interactions with her.

"Well, that's understandable," you may say. "You were married."

Yes, true. But it isn't only my interactions with my family and closest friends that are mine to share. Stray interactions with strangers are mine, too. So are random things people say or do at a party. Yeah, you were drunk. No, you weren't talking to me. But you know what? You said that thing right out loud and in public. I heard it. It made me laugh (or made me squirm). It's mine now.

I have a couple of friends right now who are angry with me for posting a snippet of writing on my facebook page. I removed the names and all the identifying features -- so well, in fact that one of the main participants didn't recognize herself in the story. It wasn't until someone else (her partner -- and the only person I confirmed any identities to) said, "Oh, yeah. That was you," that she knew. Once she knew, she went supernova. 

And why? I have my theories. The main one is that she is ashamed of her behavior. That's ironic to me, actually, because I saw her as the victim in the scene. I didn't think she'd done anything wrong. Wrong had been done to her, from my perspective Then again, I suppose victims have as much right to despise themselves through outside eyes as much as villains do. Indeed, I would go so far as to speculate that victims are as likely to cover up abuse as their abusers are, and for largely the same reason. Shame.

Here's the rub, though. If you hate seeing what you've said or done in print (and especially when nobody could easily guess that YOU were the one who said or did it), then your real issue is NOT with the person who wrote it down. Your real issue is with yourself.

Holding up a mirror to the ugliness and the beauty, the strength and the weakness, the valor and the villainy within a single person -- that's what a writer does. Writing is therapy for me. I use it to poke at the uncomfortable places and to bring light out of the darkness -- or to remind myself that the brightest of lights casts the darkest of shadows.

I won't stop, either. 

If I don't include the intimate moments, the private confessions, the secret struggles, then I haven't written anything of substance. Nobody wants to read the story of a hero and her friends who never screw up, always say the polite thing, and don't have regrets.  It's how we deal with the mud that shows us whether we can make (or BE) diamonds.

The only protection you get from the pen (not just mine, but every writer's pen) is that I won't use your name, and I will never again confirm or deny who a character is based on. If you don't know, then it doesn't matter.

On the Subject of Fair Compensation for Authors

Me showing some Aphrodite-ness
at the LHP Con in Indy 2014.

My friend and peer, Taylor Ellwood, posted this article that I thought several of you might find interesting. (This is the  second part of his open letter.) The condensed version is that Taylor has made the choice to respect himself and his work by expecting festival and convention organizers to pay him fair compensation (beyond free entry) for the events where he speaks. He makes the point that he is footing the bill for transportation, lodging, and food in order to present at and market these events. He further encourages event organizers to be clear in their expectations and compensation policies for featured speakers. Finally, he encourages all authors/speakers to take a stand and demand fair compensation, thereby changing the way these Pagan and esoteric events do business. (Please, please read the letters for yourself. I am only hitting the high points here.)

I applaud Taylor's decision as it relates to himself, and I have my own thoughts to share on the topic where my own presenting and event-organizing is concerned.



My Experience as an Author and Speaker

I have to admit, as much as my pride would like for me to seem more grand and in demand, that I have never been paid for an appearance at a Pagan festival or convention. I have never had my travel or lodging covered, either. The best that I have experienced in terms of compensation is free entry to the event and the ability to sell my books at no charge. That is the BEST, but I think it should be the standard minimum.

I'm not sure that I will ever be offered more compensation than this due to the nature of my writing and the somewhat limited audience to which my work appeals. I write about Traditional Witchcraft and Aphrodisian interests. Neither of those has a very broad base within the Pagan world. I'm a pragmatist, though, and I understand the principles of supply and demand when it comes to event organization. Mid-list authors (and actors and artists) just aren't compensated as generously as the "stars" of the genre.

My Observations of the BIG Conventions 

I'm talking here about the Comic Cons and genre-cons that pull in 20,000 - 80,000 attendees over the course of a single weekend. You know, those monstrous events with hordes of cosplayers. I've attended a few with my daughter (who loves anime), and I've even worked at one. (I was Naomi Grossman's personal assistant at the Lexington Comic and Toy Convention in 2014. At the time, she was pretty much only known for her role as Pepper in American Horror Story: Asylum. She had just been signed for AHS: Freak Show, but couldn't announce it yet.)

These conventions, if you haven't been, have a handful of honored and featured guests, a ton of other guests, some panel discussions, some workshops, and lots and lots of shopping. Pagan conventions, if you haven't been, also have a handful of honored and featured guests, lots of mid-list or unknown authors and speakers, lots of workshops, and a little shopping. Both types of events cost about $300 for the weekend (give or take).

I can tell you from up-close experience that the BIG cons generate thousands and thousands (and THOUSANDS) of dollars, and everybody gets paid something. I got paid to be a PA, even! But they have also monetized the ever-loving snot out of every aspect of the experience. The authors and artists and actors who were NOT Carol from The Walking Dead, Cpt. Kirk, or that voice-actor you love from Full-Metal Alchemist made pretty much all their money from autographs and photo ops. The more that people came to see them personally, the more money they earned. And I'm not sure that most of them made anything from the con's ticket sales. They ONLY made money from their fans.

I bring this up because Pagan cons/fests don't have the same dynamic in terms of monetizing the experience. Authors don't charge for book signings, let alone signed photos and other swag. They don't charge you $10 (or more) to take a selfie with you on your own phone. Indeed, you might just find Oberon Zell-Ravenheart sharing mead and telling stories at YOUR campfire. Pagan events have a culture that is relationship-based far more than it is money-based.

My Experience as an Event Organizer

I organize events at Midian Festivals and Events near Bedford, Indiana, USA. I have been an organizer (now Director) of the Babalon Rising Thelemic Festival since 2009, and it is the largest event I help organize. (BR hasn't yet reached max capacity, but we anticipate that being about 500 people total --  including all organizers, presenters, musicians, dancers, volunteers, and paid registrants.) We are not a large event, and we don't particularly aim to be. We are a Thelemic event, and it is our goal to provide a quality festival experience for Thelemites of all ilks, orders, and inclinations.

I'm hesitant to share too much about BR's financial details, but I will share what I think is relevant for this conversation. We are a private, commercial (meaning that we are NOT "non-profit"), small business. Our directors and organizers have never taken a salary, and everyone who has ever had any major hand in the running of the festival has invested a fair chunk of money into its operation. We do it for Love (and certainly for Will) but not at all for money. The festival's main financial goal is to provide an amazing experience in the current year and have some seed money to get started for the following year.

We always offer free entrance to any presenter who provides 2 or more workshops (and only charge $20 -- which is the fee we pay for land usage per person) for 1 workshop. Furthermore, we always offer free vending to ALL attendees, which allows authors the chance to sell books. (Starting in 2015, we also offered all presenters the opportunity to sell their books at our HQ table. This is a free service provided by me and the admin team to help our authors.)

We have only ever been able to cover the transportation, hotel, food, and speaker's fees for ONE (and in some rare years, TWO) authors/speakers at a time. These are our keynotes or guests of special honor. We genuinely wish we could pay every presenter, but to do so would bankrupt us in the first year -- unless we also raised our rates to $300/attendee, but then we know we would see diminished registration (and I'm not sure that even that would give us enough funds to offer more than a token amount). It's a catch-22 for us, you see. 

What we end up hoping and needing is to have authors and speakers from the Thelemic community who enjoy the festival and want to share their experience with their fellow attendees. It's an intimate setting, and most of our speakers are long-time attendees and friends of the festival. Is that nepotism at work? Maybe so. But we aren't an exclusive club. We bring in new folks every year, and we offer everyone a seat at the table. 

We also do (or make space for) things that you won't see at many other events. Our attendees present their own games, performances, shenanigans, rituals, and impromptu discussions at all hours of the day and night.  We are a different sort of event, and I know that even if all mid-list authors/speakers boycotted BR and other events that can't offer compensation, BR would be only minimally affected. I don't mean disrespect to my fellow-authors by saying that. I know this without a doubt, just as I know that BR would continue even if the current organizers -- myself included -- stepped down en mass. (We needed to "take a break" in 2013, and a grass-roots, community-driven campout sprang up in the place of BR for that year! This festival demands to be had.) For us, maybe more than for other events, our attendees are the greatest power behind the festival -- moreso than the authors or the organizers or the musicians.

So, what does this mean for how BR compensates authors?

Well, it means that we would love to offer our speakers more money, but we just aren't always able. When we can, we do. We choose where our funds go based on a few harsh realities: 1) who our attendees ask for, 2) which authors bring in NEW paying attendees, and 3) who has been loyal to the festival. Yeah, I know that last one also smacks of nepotism, but it's a factor. If you've played or presented at BR for years, you're devoted to the cause, and THIS year you might not be able to make it without a little help, we have done what we can. Frankly, even then, we don't have much money to smooth over difficulties. Maybe a little money for gas -- or helping arrange a carpool. (We've done both.) Maybe we pick up your tab in the kitchen or offer you food vouchers up to a certain amount. (Again, we've done that.)

We will continue to offer free admission and vending to our speakers, too. I know that doesn't sound like a whole lot on the surface; but like Taylor mentioned, I too have had to pay for the privilege of speaking at an event. In February of 2015, in fact, Taylor and I were both at a well-known convention. Only one of my workshops was accepted for the schedule, so I owed fees upon my arrival. I shared a hotel room with a friend (and OTO Brother), and I carpooled with another friend (and OTO Sister). I packed a picnic basket and cooler full of food, and I ate out only once while I was there. (And my Brother picked up my tab, if I recall correctly.)  It was an expensive weekend for me, all in all, but it was a good experience, as well. I got to connect with a couple of my readers, I got to bond with some members of my fraternal order, and I saw a little behind the curtain of how a Pagan Con works.

Here are two things that I did find insulting about that experience. It's not that my food, transportation, and lodging were paid by me. The organizers didn't know me or my work, and it was my first year there. I saw my costs as an investment.

What hurt my pride a bit was that there was no opportunity for me to offer my books for sale. They had a table with a few of the authors' works, which I understand was a courtesy service for a select group. I'm not sure what it took to be part of that group or why I didn't qualify. Other authors paid high fees for merchant space. Neither was an option for me. 

And ... I actually ended up presenting THREE workshops, which should have equaled free admission. Another presenter (and friend) couldn't make it due to illness. Her cancellation got lost somewhere along the way, and they still had her on the schedule. I stepped in and presented both of her workshops. I presented them very well, in fact, and I got great feedback on them. But, no, I didn't get anything knocked off my admission. I barely got a "thank you." That stung. I don't need to be paid, but I want to be valued.

In my mind, free admission and table space for book-selling are non-negotiable, and they are very easy to provide. Even if an event can't spare cash for an honorarium, airfare, hotel, or meals, they can at least  NOT CHARGE the author and give them a chance to recoup some of their expenses via book sales. 

What does this mean for me as an author and speaker?

I'm an A+ speaker. I really am. I get great reviews and feedback. As awesome as I am, I know that I will continue to be undervalued as a con/fest commodity.  In all of my presenting, I have never had more than one or two people (per event) say that they registered and paid to see me. I have had it happen, and it is a heady moment when it comes. But I am not bringing an event much money. I'm a "value added" sort of commodity. A "bonus feature."

I'm a mid-lister. Like Naomi Grossman when I sat at her side in Lexington, enough people know me to make it worth my while to show up and give them something of value. (And enough people don't know me to make it worth my while to show up and introduce myself.) I've got to work hard to promote myself and my writing. Fair or unfair, that's the commercial nature of writing and speaking.

Do I hope to some day be a shining star -- a darling of the Pagan/Magical speaking circuit? Hells yeah! The trends will have to shift for that to happen, though. Either Aphrodite or Traditional Witchcraft are going to have to get really popular for enough people to feel passionately about what I offer to make me a commercial draw for an event. For now, it's enough that I have that passion and get to share it from time to time with others.

I'm curious, though ...

What thoughts do you have on this topic? As both an author and an event organizer, I naturally see this topic from a couple of different perspectives. Where are you coming from?

Authors/speakers, do you feel disrespected if you only receive comped attendance to an event? What makes it "worth your while" to present at a fest or con? 

Organizers, could your event handle the financial impact of comping, transporting, lodging, feeding, and paying a stipend to more authors? How do you show your authors that you love and respect and appreciate what they provide to your event?

Attendees, how do you feel about possibly paying higher registration prices to ensure more speakers are receiving adequate compensation? Do you enjoy being exposed to new authors and new ideas at events enough to pay higher fees?

Maybe you have a suggestions for compensating authors in a different way? What "outside the box" solutions do you see?

Post in the comments!

Ready ... Go!

Sacred Courtesan Questionnaire

A little over a year ago, I started collecting information from some of the men and women who serve as "sacred courtesans." I'm still collecting questionnaires and talking with folks who do this work, and I would like to broaden my scope and search a bit. To that end, please pass along this questionnaire to anyone you think might be interested in sharing their experience with me. All responses can be sent to me at laurelei@asteriabooks.com. THANKS!



BACKGROUND: I consider myself a Sacred Courtesan. That service, which has always been linked to Aphrodite for me, has taken on different shapes and textures over the years, though. Lately, I've been more of a Sacred Madame (or a Scared Whore-ganizer), acting in a teacher or facilitator role. As I get more requests for instruction from folks, I realize that I want a broader base of understanding for this very somewhat sprawling topic.

DISCLAIMER: I plan to write about this topic at some point in the near future. I will likely publish a book, and it is entirely possible that experiences recounted in this conversation could appear in print. My *assumption* is going to be that you prefer anonymity, unless you specifically note otherwise. If you want me to use your name (or a chosen pseudonym), you'll need to let me know. (I'll probably send you a release form to sign.) Otherwise, I will make up a simple pseudonym or use no name at all.

INSTRUCTIONS: Answer the following questions as fully as you feel that you can. Some questions may not apply, of course. After I have received back your responses, I may have some follow-up questions for you.

Thank you for taking the time to talk with me about your work and experience.


1) ARE YOU CURRENTLY ENGAGED IN THE WORK OF THE SACRED COURTESAN?


2) WHAT HAS THAT WORK LOOKED LIKE FOR YOU? BE AS SPECIFIC HERE AS YOU CAN ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE.


3) DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS A PRIEST/ESS OF A PARTICULAR DEITY (OR OTHER ENTITY), AS REGARDS BEING A SACRED COURTESAN? OR, DOES YOUR CALLING COME FROM SOME OTHER DESIRE/SOURCE?


4) HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY TRAINING FROM A MENTOR, EITHER IN PERSON OR VIA CORRESPONDENCE?


5) WHAT RESEARCH HAVE YOU UNDERTAKEN AS A PART OF YOUR WORK? (IE, RELATED BOOKS, CLASSES, OBSERVATIONS, ETC.)


6) HOW OPENLY HAVE YOU PRACTICED YOUR ARTS?


7) WHAT REACTIONS HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED FROM OTHERS REGARDING THIS WORK? (FAMILY, FRIENDS, CLIENTS, STRANGERS)


8) WHAT TRAINING OR INFORMATION HAVE YOU FOUND LACKING (VIA BOOKS, WORKSHOPS, ETC) THAT YOU WISH SOMEONE WAS DISCUSSING/TEACHING?


9) WHAT DOES YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK LOOK LIKE, IF YOU HAVE ONE? (DO YOU WORK WITH OTHERS OF A SIMILAR CALLING? DO YOU HAVE/NEED SAFETY CONSIDERATIONS? CAN YOU TALK WITH ANYONE ABOUT THE CHALLENGES AND SUCCESSES YOU EXPERIENCE?)


10) IN WHAT WAYS, IF ANY, DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAVE GROWN OR CHANGED BASED ON YOUR WORK AS A SACRED COURTESAN?

Did You Miss the Podcast?

I've been on two podcasts in the last couple of months. Did you get to catch them?

Scroll of Thoth -- episode 13 "Babalon in Black"
April 9, 2014
"This episode James, Colleen and Shade OfRoses speak with Laurelei and Natalie Black about the Babalon Rising Festival, Liber Qayin, Polyamory, being a priestess of Aphrodite, and the Witches’ goetia."


Voices of the Sacred Feminine -- Sacred Courtesans
June 18, 2014
 "Returning to the show we have Laurelei Black, author, independent scholar and practitioner devoted to Aphrodite, sharing with us her findings on Sacred Courtesans, past and present.  Laurelei is interested in how we apply the ancient wisdom and service to modern thought and practice.  She will give us insight into interviews she's conducted with modern-day courtesans as she's delved into what training they've undergone, what rexources or support they have (and lack) and what their service looks like in a practical sense."


You can catch some podcasts with me from the further past at:
Sept 13, 2012 -- Voices of the Sacred Feminine -- Aphrodite's Symbols
Nov 15, 2012 -- Voices of the Sacred  Feminine -- Aphrodite's Clergy Then and Now
May 26, 2010 -- Erotic Awakening -- Priestess of Aphrodite
April 2011 -- Deviant Minds Salon -- Lauralei The Scarlet Woman (have to create a TalkShoe account to hear episode)

Come See Me!

I have FOUR appearances scheduled over the next month and a half, and I would really love to see  you at one (or all) of them.

Southern Indiana Druid and Heathen Event
July 18-20, 2014
Midian Festivals and Events -- Springville, IN

I'm organizing this one, but I am also on schedule to present. If you're into Celtic or Norse spirituality you will LOVE this event, but so will those with no particular ties to the Celtic or Nordic diaspora. We have rituals, workshops, games, and contests to delight and interest everyone.

I'll be presenting  Mythic Role Play: The Arthurian Mysteries.



International Left Hand Path Conference
July 25-27, 2014
Marriott East Indianapolis

The line-up for this event is incredible, and I'm excited to be a part of this work. Don't see me as a LHP type? Depends on your definition, I suppose. We'll be getting into that in another blog post. SOON.

I'll be presenting two classes.

Lucifer-Azazel-Qayin: The Devil at the Crossroads  -- The scapegoat of God, the bringer of enlightenment, the master of magic and the forge. Join Laurelei Black, co-founder of the American Folkloric Witchcraft tradition, in an exploration of the mythos and symbolism of Lucifer, Azazel, and Qayin. American Folkloric Witchcraft sees these names as three monikers of the same entity. Explore the mark of Qayin and the red thread that links witches to the potent and often misrepresented Man in Black -- the Golden Man, the Red God.

Siren, Succubus, Seductress: The Devil's Bride  -- Come close. Closer. Let me whisper a secret in your ear. It's a Mystery, my love. Are you ready? The God of alchemy, of magic, of enlightenment, of witchcraft has a Bride -- and she is the Lady of Love (and sacrifice). She is the golden star from whose iron he crafts the blade. She is the whore to whom he tells his secrets. Of old, she was Venus, Ishtar, Aphrodite -- the Morning and Evening Star. Her daughters are the sexy and seductive women of magic -- witches, succubi, sirens. Enticing, alluring, powerful ... and dangerous. Join me (Laurelei Black) in an exploration of the mythological waters that bore these temptresses and a discussion of the experience and application of being such a woman in the world of magic.

Cunning Folk Faire
August 1-3, 2014
Midian Festivals and Events

Come join a band of witches in the woods of Southern Indiana for a Lammas fest! This is another that I'm organizing and also presenting two classes. We welcome witches from all Traditions to celebrate the Red Day with us, to learn about practical and esoteric magic, and perform transformative rituals in the limestone hills of Southern Indiana.

The Witch's Familiar  -- Witches have a long and storied relationship with the Unseen World and with spirits of many types, abilities, and personalities. Those spirits with whom we are most familiar have a special place in our lives and our magic. This discussion will cover historical familiars -- including those found within the Legion and those named during witch trials -- as well as the contact, care, and keeping of familiars for modern witches. 

Flying Ointment and Sabbat Wine -- Learn the art of herbal astral travel. Come and discuss with us the historical ways in which the Witches of old flew to the Sabbat at the Mountain, leaving their bodies safe at home -- or how they went out into the night as hares. Laurelei  will discuss the theory and history behind the very toxic plant poisons used in the past and also explore some safe (but effective) non-toxic alternatives for modern spirit flight.

Indiana Homesteaders Festival
August 15-17, 2014
Midian Festivals and Events

This is a completely secular -- and very practical -- event designed to educate and inspire folks about homesteading, self-sufficiency, and traditional arts/skills. Whether you just want to learn to rely a little less on the big box stores, reduce your carbon footprint by incorporating alternative energy into your home, or genuinely hope to prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse, this fest is for you!

I'll be presenting two classes -- Basic Quilting Techniques and ... Five Must-Have Herbal Teas for Health.

Babalon Rising Festival, 2014

Since the Babalon Rising Festival concluded just a few days ago, I've been trying to process all of the energy and awe that I felt. I'm not sure that I am capable of putting into words what I have been feeling, but I will try for fear that all sense of coherence about those days of magic will drift away.

This was the 8th iteration of the festival, and it is probably significant to know that we took a year off last year. It was a hard year. A painful and lonely year. We (the Directors of the fest -- my partners) had a dramatic and public falling out with our event venue and home (Our Haven Nature Sanctuary). I won't go into the details here. I'm healing from those hurts, and dwelling on them only hurts more. That pain is only really relevant in the sense that it provides a backdrop for the Chaos that we experienced during 2013.

So, a lonely, painful, sad, and isolated year.

For those who don't know, Babalon Rising has been working a magical formula for the last nine years. We have been taking the serpent's path up the Tree of Life. Last year coincided with Da'ath, the Abyss. And boy was it!

THIS year, though, brought us out of the Abyss and into Binah, Understanding. It is the City of Pyramids, the Great Sea. It is the sphere of Babalon herself. *sighpurr*

Babalon Rising was the first event to take place at Midian, the event grounds established by my partners and I (and about 10 of our close friends). We closed on the land -- 25 heavily wooded acres in a reclaimed limestone quarry near Bedford, Indiana) on the first weekend in April. We had 8 weeks to take this beautiful but abused piece of land, clean her up, love her up, build her up a little, and open the gates for the festival. In those eight weeks, we:

* picked up around 100 garbage bags full of trash and debris left on the site by partiers and dumpers
* pulled about 80 pounds of broken glass out of the dirt where bottles, tv screens and car windshields had been broken and shot during target practice
* cut roads though the woods
* gravelled said roads
* laid sand for the main fire circle
* painted twenty or so abandoned tires to be used as raised flower beds
* installed electricity
* dug a well (with some of the tastiest water you can imagine!)
* ran plumbing and electricity to needed points
* built a stage on a solid limestone shelf (and broke a jackhammer doing it!)
* poured concrete pads for the kitchen and main event pavilion
* bought a kitchen full of equipment
* cleared over 200 campsites
* built 6 shower stalls and ran hot/cold water to 5 of them
* cleared a 2 acre parking lot
* laid stonework for a patio
* installed raised, stone-ringed flower beds

There's more, I know, but I think this is plenty to mention. On any given work weekend, there were about 20-30 of us on the land, including kids. Everyone worked so hard. We worked right up until the opening of Babalon Rising. We were so excited and nervous.

Attendees started arriving, and the reunions with old friends was like a salve to my soul. Connecting with new friends was exhilarating. We got so much positive feedback!

It rained all day during our set-up, which meant that all the lovely gravel got eaten by mud. So did a couple of cars. Eek. But then the skies cleared and the land drained and dried. (Thanks, rock quarry! You have amazing drainage!)

Workshops and rituals started on Thursday, and I noticed the weirdest thing. Everyone was asleep. BR might have a reputation as a party festival, but it also has some notoriety for being filled with excellent presentations ALL day, on THREE separate tracks, for THREE full days. Our shaded camping, though, lulled our attendees into sweet, long slumber.

The workshops were as amazing as ever. I spent all of my time in my own Scarlet Track. Since 2009, I have helped organize the sacred sexuality and sex magick (Scarlet) track at the festival. This year, I led an introductory talk on Western Sacred Sexuality; a group discussion on boundaries, Will, and consent; and a Sapphic Qadishti Circle (ladies-only sacred touch). All three were wonderful experiences for me. I have to say I particularly loved the Sapphic Qadhisti Circle. It has been a long time since I took a hands-on approach to my work as a Sacred Whore, and I realized at the hands (and lips and nails) of those women how much I missed it. (More on that in another post, I think.)

I also got to attend a workshop on Gender, Misogyny, and Occultism as led by Jason Winslade, which I thought was an excellent exploration of some of the gender issues within the Western esoteric traditions. AND ... my own coven sister, Sara Grey, help temple space in service to Lilith. This year marks the first time since I held Aphrodite temple that such a working has been done at BR. She is a talented priestess and vessel, and my interaction with the Grey Goddess on Friday evening was  profound.

Historically, I don't get to attend much of the fire and party at this festival. My duties as Responsible Director Type have me going to bed exhausted and waking up early. Not this year. Don't get me wrong, I was tied. But I needed my dance time, my flirt time, my soak in the fire time. And I took it. I took every minute of it. I think I only got 6 hours of sleep between Wednesday night and Sunday morning. My body started to rebel by the end, but I did something I've never done before:  I stayed up until morning Resh on Sunday morning. In the 6 years I've been with the festival, I had yet to say dawn Resh.

The Feast of the Beast ritual was perfect! My own beloved Owlie wrote it (with a little help from me -- but only a little). It drew from Alan Moore's Promethea and Jack Parson's Babalon working. I was one of the four Queens depicted in the Tarot. The Queen of Cups, specifically. I'm interested to see how that plays out for me this year.

My time at the fire sustained me this year. While I was only able to have a little conversation through the day with friends both old and new, I was able to indulge in esoteric (and also some purely flirtatious) conversations and interactions at night. I got the most heavenly back rub I think I've ever had. I participated in a looooong (and frankly badass) chant. I got my feet rubbed by a world-class musician. (Come to think of it, "rubbing Laurelei" seems to have been a theme for me. It's a trend I would love to see continue into Chokmah.) I sat in the sand and talked until dawn. I watched people and loved people and connected with people all weekend.

If I start to say "thank you" to all the people who made my weekend amazing, I think I'll have to name literally everyone there. =) From the Midian directors, to the barter staff, to the presenters and musicians, down to every single attendee -- THANK YOU! You have no idea how meaningful and significant this year's Babalon Rising was for me on a personal level.

Temple of Love -- my first novel (free on Kindle for 3 days)

I can't even begin to express how happy I am to be re-releasing my first novel, Temple of Love. It is a story of passionate poets and sacred service in honor of love.

AND ... It's available FREE on Kindle from today (Feb 18) through Thursday (Feb 20)!  Get it here.
The book follows the life of Sappho, the famous Greek poet from Lesvos.

"This was part of Sappho’s art, to give herself so completely in lust and sweat and satisfaction, to allow herself to be contented and dependent on her lover. … She hadn’t yet learned that this art was a double-edged blade – one that would cut her again and again. It would lend heat to her passion and poetry, and it would eventually break her."

Sappho, the lyric poet whose life and lovers give us our current understanding of the word “Lesbian,” was hailed as the Tenth Muse on her island home of Lesvos and all throughout Classical Greece. Her poems of passion and longing were directed at the men … and women … whom she adored and sometimes envied.

Like most girls of Lesvos, Sappho lived a life among women. After her earliest education, though, she rejects the traditional married life and gives herself in service to the temple of Aphrodite to become a priestess of love, beauty, and sexual ecstasy. Cloistered among the sacred courtesans, she opens her heart and body to love. But when Pittakos the tyrant and Alcaeus the poet vie with each other to be first in her heart, will she lose herself and all that she holds dear?
 
Read it on Kindle (FREE for a limited time) or in paperback.

After you've read it, will you post a review in the comments? I would be delighted to hear what you think!